ORPHAN

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First of all, ORPHAN isn't scary at all. Not one hair on my neck rose. 

Second of all, it is produced by one of the most overrated producers of all time: Joel Silver. The same culprit for NINJA ASSASSIN and THE REAPING.

While Isabelle Fuhrmann is menacingly convincing in the sinister role of Esther, the story itself is questionable. There are too many plotholes to fill up the entire planet. 

Jaume Collet Serra who also directed the grisly (not a compliment) remake of HOUSE OF WAX featuring a prima donna named Paris Hilton who gets what she deserves helms ORPHAN. The pacing is too slow, but at least the tension is sustained. 

The plot in my opinion is a subpar ripoff of THE OMEN.

I mean, really? How can Esther slip through the radar of the Saarne Institute and the whole world in fact if she should be watched in the first place? I am trying to avoid spoilers, but let's just say the plot twist is not only tacky, but varies in levels of insulting. 

The climax is formula 101. The case of the villain who won't die.

RATING: 2/5

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