THIS MEANS WAR starts fashionably enough, with an all-out action sequence off a Hong Kong skyscraper rooftop involving two suave CIA agents played by Captain Kirk and that guy who ate guys for breakfast in WARRIOR. They incidentally kill the brother of the bad guy, and the bad guy (Til Schweiger) obviously will be out for blood later on. 

The film then becomes a race to win over a girl (Reese Witherspoon), with the previously mentioned plot fading in the background, only to resurface stupidly in a contrived moment in the climax. The agents utilize the CIA's toys in order to get ahead of one another in getting the girl. This would tell you a lot about how preposterous the situation is, where government resources are used for playtime, and their boss (Angela Bassett) who is amazingly oblivious to this fact. 

Sixty percent of the movie would be dedicated to this tomfoolery among these grown men clearly not acting their age. When the guys aren't competing, we get a rush of female pep talk cliche where the girl has an annoying best friend who usually gives unsolicited advice. This would comprise 30%. The remaining 10% is the action part. The film is a chick flick disguised as an action movie.

In all fairness, some of the jokes are pretty funny, especially that part where Tom Hardy taps into the comm to sabotage Chris Pine's hopes with Reese. Although, the fact remains that the filmmakers haven't thought of more credible names for their lead characters as "FDR" and "Tuck".  

There goes two hours of my life out the window.

RATING: 2/5 


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